The most obvious thing to do is to realize that you are the person in charge of what your strengths are. Most people seem to think that a strength is what you're good at, and a weakness is what you're bad at. And if we think that, then, we are not the best judge of our strengths because somebody else probably is the best judge of what you're good at and what you're bad at. But actually, that's not a very good definition of a strength. A strength is an activity that makes you feel strong—it's an activity that strengthens you.

And of course, if that's true, if strengths really are an antecedent to performance, there are activities that strengthen you, that invigorate you, that you have an appetite for, that cause you to practice more, that then drive your performance. If that's what a strength is, then there are signs that you can see all around you, if you've got the eyes to see them and the ears to hear them.

And that's one of the most basic rituals that we can all do, to stay on our strengths path. To keep our eyes peeled for the most obvious signs of which activities strengthen us and which don't. There are a number of signs, but probably the two most obvious signs of a strength that you could pay attention to and really give your full attention to, are firstly, what do you find yourself positively anticipating, actively looking forward to? And then rapid learning: What do you pick up quickly? What do you find that you get so involved in, that you lose track of time?

So in terms of a ritual, keep your mind open to opportunities on your career path. Keep experimenting. But as you're doing so, remember: You're always looking for those activities that strengthen you. The two most obvious signs are positive anticipation and rapid learning. And when you see those two signs pop up, it's a really good clue that you need to keep orienting yourself toward those activities and tilting your world toward them.

This is the responsibility of each individual person. If you want to be a person who actually excels in your life and derives satisfaction from the work that you do in your life, there is no one who cares more about that than you. You can benefit from having a great mentor relationship, or a great manager relationship. But that mentor, that manager, what he or she needs from you is for you to walk in with a full sheet of paper. Not a blank sheet of paper.

Too many of us sit down with a blank sheet of paper and we look at the manager and we say, "Hey, develop me. Help me. Grow me. Challenge me." And what we really should be doing is actually walking into that room and sitting down and saying, "You know what? I know a fair bit about which activities strengthen me and which don't. I've done some really good thinking about it, not just theoretically, but practically. I've looked to the activities that I'm filling my week with. I try to understand which of those activities strengthen me and which don't. I've looked at the activities that drain me. And I'm going to sit down in front of you right now and I'm going to tell you in vivid detail what those are. So that together we can think about course correction. Together we can think about what kind of things I can do to fine tune where I'm spending my time or what new skills I might learn that can build upon what I now know about myself."

As an individual, you're walking in there with the raw material. You are the best judge of what invigorates you and what doesn't. And it's YOUR responsibility to bring that to the conversation that you have with your manager or your mentor. No one else is responsible for that. And besides, you've got more insight into that than they ever will. It's not that people don't care about you. They do. But no one cares about you as much as you do. And no one knows you as well as you do. And it's your responsibility to bring that knowledge and that awareness to whomever you want to partner with in your growth and your development.